Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
