Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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