Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
