Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
