That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
