when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
