So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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