so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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