well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have already put on my inside pants.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
