Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
