I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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