puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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