everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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