his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
