Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
