i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
