im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
