Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
