Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
