I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
sex in a hospital.. check
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
