weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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