I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
