I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think a kid would responsible me up
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
