don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
