if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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