..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
