there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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