I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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