he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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