She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
