All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So many bounce houses so little time
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
