Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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