my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
