he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
