Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
