i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
