No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
