he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
