I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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