The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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