i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
