I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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