I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
try to milk me bitch
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