Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
