just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
