It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
