Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
