Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
