im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
