I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
