just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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