she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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